People shit me!

[Irrev-Black]

"When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see..."

-- New Order, True Faith

I'm sure the lead-up to Crimbo is some sort of twisted advent calendar, with a complete eejit behind every little perforated door.

All I need do is set out of the house, and the appointed bozo of the day inevitably appears.

Today, I was minding my business, waiting about seventh in the queue for the staffed checkout at BigTwoGrocery, when The Parrot-Beaked Bozo From Allora addressed me directly with some remark about "that commie Albo".

I know the beaky one came from Allora, because he had already left the queue and moved forward five trolleys to holler at the register operator "So this is where they go when they escape from Allora! How are you spending all that ill-gotten money BigTwoGrocery pays you?"

I'd also heard him muttering to the woman accompanying him, and presumably at others, a few remarks with eejit keywords like "elites" and such.

Really, I'd sooner have bruleed my shins with a Bic lighter and an aerosol hairspray than deal with this gronk, but he was right under my nose and hovering.

"That commie Albo is ruining the country."

Colleagues, there was no way I could NOT react. As an attention-getter, Beaky Bozo's opener was right up there alongside "Squirrel Grip With Icy Hand".

"Ha! Commie? Alan Joyce's mate? The bloke who came from government housing and a pension and turned his back on everyone in government housing and on pensions?"

Beaky started up again. "(yadda yadda I came from Newtown too we had it hard murdered in cold blood every night and had to get up before we even went to bed spiel.)"

"Chap, you are standing in a queue with one of the most extreme socialists you ever met in your narrowly-circumscribed life! Albanese is so far to the right of where I stand, he looks like another Liberal."

No sign of comprehension from the psittaccine harangeur.... "And he's destroying Australian values!"

"What are these values, Chap? Where are they written down? Which ones is Albo concentrating on first?"

Next, I think he'd have cried, wet himself, or tried to job me, but his (wife/sister/cousin/maybe some of all these) gave him a withering look, and I could smell the singed hair.

Thank fuck I don't need to shop there for a while, and doubly thank fuck Allora's a decent distance from Toontown.

[two dogs]

If I'd seen the reversing lights on this driver's car come on earlier, I would have stopped and signalled them to complete their manoeuvre, as is my wont when doing so won't impede traffic (and as I would have others do unto me).

In this case, the street on which I live usually has only bugger all, mainly residential, traffic.

Perhaps the driver saw me and wouldn't have backed into me, but if that were me and I saw a car approaching, I would probably have at least applied my brakes, if not also shifted out of reverse to signal that?

Perhaps I give too many fucks about other people?

[Irrev-Black]

(phone rings)

"Hello", I say.

And the as-yet-unannounced caller wants to know who they're speaking to, and gets a mite snarky when I say that it's polite for them to be the first to identify.

It may be a molehill, but I'm quite content to let a few callers die on it.

[Irrev-Black]

(phone rings)

"Hello", I say.

And the as-yet-unannounced caller wants to know who they're speaking to, and gets a mite snarky when I say that it's polite for them to be the first to identify.

It may be a molehill, but I'm quite content to let a few callers die on it.

Afterthought - quick + dirty solution: "Who will I say is calling?" (Then carry on.)

[stevebrooks]

(phone rings)

"Hello", I say.

And the as-yet-unannounced caller wants to know who they're speaking to, and gets a mite snarky when I say that it's polite for them to be the first to identify.

It may be a molehill, but I'm quite content to let a few callers die on it.

Yeah arseholes the lot of them, many a conversation myself.

Mother is 88, people call, "I would like to speak to Mrs Brooks." Me, "who's calling?" The normal ones say things like "It's the Exmouth hospital about her appointment" etc, the arseholes, "she's expecting our call." After which follow about ten minutes of me arguing with them they need to identify themselves or they going nowhere until they admit they are a charity looking for money, for which 88 year olds are easy targets these days, big sob story, refuse to hang up until money is promised etc, usually works because mother is to polite to just hang up and the only way she can get rid of them is to promise to send them money. Fortunately I'm not to polite, good riddance to them!

[Irrev-Black]

(phone rings)

"Hello", I say.

And the as-yet-unannounced caller wants to know who they're speaking to, and gets a mite snarky when I say that it's polite for them to be the first to identify.

It may be a molehill, but I'm quite content to let a few callers die on it.

Yeah arseholes the lot of them, many a conversation myself.

Mother is 88, people call, "I would like to speak to Mrs Brooks." Me, "who's calling?" The normal ones say things like "It's the Exmouth hospital about her appointment" etc, the arseholes, "she's expecting our call." After which follow about ten minutes of me arguing with them they need to identify themselves or they going nowhere until they admit they are a charity looking for money, for which 88 year olds are easy targets these days, big sob story, refuse to hang up until money is promised etc, usually works because mother is to polite to just hang up and the only way she can get rid of them is to promise to send them money. Fortunately I'm not to polite, good riddance to them!

Ah, spammers-by-phone!

Herself and I have different surnames. Calls for "Mrs Black" or "Mr Herself's-Name" tend to have odd things happen.

[two dogs]

How much shit driving can one encounter in 700 m?



This video starts off with me thanking a driver coming out of a car park near the roundabout for indicating where they were going.

It went downhill from there, with the driver in the red car apparently thinking I was going straight ahead, even though I had my right indicator on to indicate a U-turn at the roundabout.

In his defense, many drivers inexplicably indicate right at that roundabout but go straight ahead, somehow thinking they're doing the right thing?!

Then the driver crosses the centreline after exiting the roundabout. I initially thought it was to avoid "colliding" with the lorry being unloaded, but it was more likely to be so as to avoid the speed cushion.

Further up the street, that driver was too fuckin' lazy to observe the intent of a newish roundabout, currently delineated only by painted lines. That
roundabout has considerably improved traffic flow. STOP signs were previously employed at that intersection in the direction I'm travelling, albeit it being the main thoroughfare. I'm hoping that a physical roundabout will eventually be installed.

Nothing much then happens for around 50 seconds, but I left that period in the video for continuity (resulting in a video/audio glitch as I combined two 1-minute videos)

Then, there's a dickhead in a big pickup with lots of ground clearance who slows down to 5-10 km/h to drive over speed cushions that are intended to reduce speed to 30 km/h!

I think my video shows that if one centres one's wheels over the speed cushion, there's bugger-all effect on one's car.

[Irrev-Black]

A few questions. They may be rhetorical.

1. Is a narrow, shopping centre car park's lanes and access roads a good spot to teach your novice their rudimentary driving skills?

2. Presuming you think it's okay, is Saturday lunchtime rush an optimum time to do this?

3. Is an uplifted Hi-Lux the best vehicle for somebody who is very obviously an early learner?

4. How long does it take till you get to the part of the teaching which involves looking to the side a bit?

5. And the bit about pedestrian crossings - while you've obviously not covered it yet, do you intend to tackle it before or after the "looking" stuff?

6. Do you think the old man (the one your pupil nearly ran down) is a sexist pig because he saw that your student was a teen girl, so he restricted himself to yelling "OI! LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" instead of the very intricate physical suggestions he almost made?

[stevebrooks]

Then, there's a dickhead in a big pickup with lots of ground clearance who slows down to 5-10 km/h to drive over speed cushions that are intended to reduce speed to 30 km/h!

I think my video shows that if one centres one's wheels over the speed cushion, there's bugger-all effect on one's car.

I have often noticed around town here, where there is, wait let me try and count, oh yes, ONE single speed bump, that people with the biggest and most expensive 4x4 with all the shiny chrome and huge off road tires and more ground clearance than my i30 is actually tall, slow down so much that I often have to hit the brakes to prevent myself from rear ending them as they creep slowly across this, single, solitary speed bump.

[stylofone]

Might as well put this here. From Mastodon:

So in "What's Happening in Small City New Zealand" today, a guy in a BMW honked a person in a wheelchair getting into a car, outside a hospital. And a nearby construction worker calmly walked over and tipped his lunch of biryani and butter chicken all over the BMWs windscreen. And people clapped.

And the reason I know it was biryani and butter chicken, is because he then--in the chillest way possible--told the BMW driver that they owed him for another lot of biryani and butter chicken because he'd missed his breakfast and needed to keep up his energy.

https://sunny.garden/@georgepenney/111967381490150755