People shit me!

[Irrev-Black]

People who squeeze many avocados at the supermarket before selecting one the ones they want, resulting in bruised brown flesh under the skin for who end up buying them!

There should be an annual competition, in which:
(1) avocado squeezers,
(2) broccoli stalk snapper-offers, and
(3) fruit/vege packers who arrange produce so the rotten bits are obscured by the tray,
are all yeeted from trebuchets, with a prize going to the trebby operator who achieves the greatest launch distance.

[two dogs]

Drivers who ignore two traffic signs in the space of 10 seconds. I don't know if they were unobservant, self-entitled arseholes, or both:



Note also that they couldn't manage to stay in the left lane while making the right-hand turn in front of me, cutting the corner, apparently to save another second or so (or was it so as not to have to rotate the steering wheel a few more degrees?).

So, I'm somewhat surprised that they bothered to indicate their left-hand turn!

[Irrev-Black]

Why, for the bountiful coconuts of Pikkiwoki, would any company employ as phone staff a woman who talks like a sped-up tape of Kylie Mole on amphetamine?

Bonus question: why send an email, with "this thing will be done in the next five business days" in it, if nothing will actually happen until the client receives a card gets (posted after the expiry of that five day window) stating that "this thing will be done in the next four business days".

I eagerly await the Morse (tapped on an exposed part of our plumbing) that says "three days", the semaphore signals from atop the distant ridge, spelling out "two days", the smoke signal (blue smoke indicates "one day"), and the massed choir of Mongolian throat singers with a song that translates to "would've been today, but we have a valid excuse".

Jeez.

[Irrev-Black]

Serving suggestion for cases of Parking Like A Dick.

Untitled.jpg (90.84 KiB) Viewed 1296 times

[two dogs]

Let's just render this parking spot useless and, at the same time, inconvenience the driver of the car when he returns because we're too fuckin' lazy to
walk 15 metres to return our trolleys to a trolley bay. As there are two trolleys there, I assume that a subsequent lazy arsehole copied the initial lazy arsehole? It's incomprehensible to me as to how some people have no consideration for others!

[two dogs]

Dickheads who drive around speed cushions!




It can't be to save time, as the manoeuvre would add a couple of milliseconds to the trip?

It can't be to avoid a sharp jolt to the car's suspension, as they're not speed bumps, such as one may find in a car park.

In this street, the width of the cushions is 1.6 m, which is almost the same as the track (the distance between the centreline of the wheels) of my car, so I have no problem driving over them at the posted speed limit, if I centre my car over them (as evidenced by the lack of shaking on my video).

The arsehole's ute has a wider track, and higher ground clearance, than my car, so it should be no problem for them?

But after driving around the speed cushion, the driver has no problem partly driving over the raised part of the first roundabout?

Of course, at the next roundabout, the driver ignores its painted representation and drives straight ahead.

For context, the speed cushions and the "roundabout" were an initiative by the local council for safety in high pedestrian activity areas. The painted
roundabout replaces STOP signs at that intersection, and it has improved traffic flow, but I'm inclined to think that a physical presentation of a
roundabout is needed.

[Irrev-Black]

Dickheads who drive around speed cushions!

It can't be to save time, as the manoeuvre would add a couple of milliseconds to the trip?

(SNIP)

I've always attributed it to the same sort of bent that drives the eejits who flick butts under No Smoking signs.

A combination of sense of hollow victory and smallness of mind may be to blame.

[Irrev-Black]

Is it just me who gets annoyed when the TV or movie band suddenly develop powers beyond those of mortal players, like automatically having the lead vocalist double up and even maybe harmonise with themself?

Or the magic guitars and keyboards in "live" performances, that seem to not need plugging in?

Then there's the Phantoms: vocal choruses, strings or other instruments Not Appearing On This Stage, or the invisible player of the other guitar part - the one the lone guitar player overdubbed on the record.

And that brings me to the ultimate Shits Me: the "live performance" which is just the group miming to the sound of their hit, exactly as it came out of the studio.

[Irrev-Black]

I understand that all the advertising, commercial pushiness, and social pressure around the anniversary of William The Conk's Coronation makes people a little crazy, but why the fuck did a couple of examples of such lunacy have to manifest in front of me?

I'd had to go to Second-Biggest Shops, and was negotiating the one-way labyrinth between ranks of parked cars when, Oliver Sudden, two cars both began reversing out, from opposite sides of the narrow lane I was in, with potential for a bum-to-bum low speed impact.

They were a couple of car lengths in front of me, so stopping wasn't a problem.

I was prepared to let the whole shemozzle roll out like one of those Dash Cam Oz youtubes, but one of the drivers (a woman) noticed what was about to happen, and hastily pulled forward, retreating into her just-vacated parking bay.

This left the old (yes, older than me) bloke in the pale gold Camry, who continued reversing out, then pivoted the steering a bit till he was facing me.

Now, I go down that particular lane at least twice a week, and it has been a faithful, steadfast lane, in that it has always been marked for eastward-only travel. I was headed east today, anticipating that things would be relatively safe^*.

* - for some values of safe, anyway. Mad reversers, sudden unattended trolleys, and kids on scooters may occur.

Camry Bloke commenced to reposition his car, like a bull preparing to take down an impudent matador.

Occasionally he'd inch forward and stare balefully, muttering something to his equally-motheaten male passenger.

I stayed put, and considered starting some motion recording in case of an accident.

Old Mate veered to my right. Obviously I was supposed to let him by or lose paint. Well, okay, but not without a volley...

"Hey, Moron! The pointy end of the arrow goes the other way! This is one way, and not the way you're going! Can you see as far as the GO BACK sign there? Are you in a hurry to go and hand in your licence, you doddering eejit?"

All Camry Guy could offer as he crawled past was a high-pitched "Oh shut up".

Hope I gave the fucker indigestion.

[two dogs]

The weird poses that advertisers' photographers expect their female models to assume?